Saturday, February 19, 2011
how do you put it across to an egoistic person that it's not working out and that he pisses you off? i need a lesson on that mans.
i hate one sentence replies.
i hate people calling me ah tiong.
i hate people picking on me.
i hate people who try to get fresh with me, ESPECIALLY WHEN WE'RE NOT TOGETHER.
i hate people who pour out all their woes to me, then complain that it's boring to talk to me, because i dont know how to reply. I AM NOT AUNT AGONY, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO??? I can lend a listening ear, or a crying shoulder, but HELLO, be appreciative at the least?!
i hate people who are EGO.
i hate people who try to change who i am.
i hate people who reprimand me when it isn't my fault.
i hate people who dont get it and call me emo.
and these are, what he does, spot on. and this is why i'm so damn sure we're not suited for one another. because he damn reminds me of my ex and why we didn't work out. shit it. i'm actually pissed from even reading smses. F it.
calculated my cycle, it shouldnt even be pms period yet. so yes, it isn't pms!
i hate one sentence replies.
i hate people calling me ah tiong.
i hate people picking on me.
i hate people who try to get fresh with me, ESPECIALLY WHEN WE'RE NOT TOGETHER.
i hate people who pour out all their woes to me, then complain that it's boring to talk to me, because i dont know how to reply. I AM NOT AUNT AGONY, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO??? I can lend a listening ear, or a crying shoulder, but HELLO, be appreciative at the least?!
i hate people who are EGO.
i hate people who try to change who i am.
i hate people who reprimand me when it isn't my fault.
i hate people who dont get it and call me emo.
and these are, what he does, spot on. and this is why i'm so damn sure we're not suited for one another. because he damn reminds me of my ex and why we didn't work out. shit it. i'm actually pissed from even reading smses. F it.
calculated my cycle, it shouldnt even be pms period yet. so yes, it isn't pms!
spin me silly, 3:17 AM.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
i like two guys at the same time. this is bad. now when i go out with one, i feel sorry to the other. but then again, i'm not in a relationship with either of them. AH CRAP.
i feel like puking. damnit. it feels so much like a stomach flu. i'm in deep shit. T_T cough, phlegm, bad sore throat, stomachaches and now nausea?! ohcrapla~!
Mr. I asked me if we're dating, i said no. cause i was thinking of Mr. S too. S is the one i wanna run to everytime i feel down or out. he makes me feel like everything's gonna be alright. he's always there. Mr. I on the other hand, is what i've always wanted in a bf. sporty, older, but there's just something missing so far. and now i'm caught in between. i like both of them, but i rely more on S. S relates more to me. but then again, it may be because i've known S for a longer time.
damnit, my life is so confusing now. somehow, i think S is still more impt to me, though i've rejected a date with him on vday. because he's the only one that understands me so far...i dont know whats going on. i just hope Mr. I doesnt force me into making any decisions either. cause from the phone call just awhile ago, i know that we both have entirely different views on dating.
and it isnt good. >.<"
time for bed before i really run to puke. crap. :'(
i feel like puking. damnit. it feels so much like a stomach flu. i'm in deep shit. T_T cough, phlegm, bad sore throat, stomachaches and now nausea?! ohcrapla~!
Mr. I asked me if we're dating, i said no. cause i was thinking of Mr. S too. S is the one i wanna run to everytime i feel down or out. he makes me feel like everything's gonna be alright. he's always there. Mr. I on the other hand, is what i've always wanted in a bf. sporty, older, but there's just something missing so far. and now i'm caught in between. i like both of them, but i rely more on S. S relates more to me. but then again, it may be because i've known S for a longer time.
damnit, my life is so confusing now. somehow, i think S is still more impt to me, though i've rejected a date with him on vday. because he's the only one that understands me so far...i dont know whats going on. i just hope Mr. I doesnt force me into making any decisions either. cause from the phone call just awhile ago, i know that we both have entirely different views on dating.
and it isnt good. >.<"
time for bed before i really run to puke. crap. :'(
spin me silly, 4:02 AM.
Monday, February 7, 2011
and i finally chose honesty. honesty is still the best policy. i spoke from the bottom of my heart.
not going out on vday should be my decision. not when i am confused over some friends i love. vday is supposed to be special for one person, not many persons. yup, its the best decision.
not until i can decide how much i can commit, and to whom.
it's still a battle of my needs vs wants. :(
not going out on vday should be my decision. not when i am confused over some friends i love. vday is supposed to be special for one person, not many persons. yup, its the best decision.
not until i can decide how much i can commit, and to whom.
it's still a battle of my needs vs wants. :(
spin me silly, 2:18 AM.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
if you had a choice, would you go for someone whom you know loves you and probably would for a long while, makes you feel good about yourself, would forgo doing his own stuffs just to accompany you to do whatever you wish to do, would take interests in your likes and dislikes and daily life activities, would be there to lend you a shoulder to cry on whenever you feel down and out, but who in your point of view, isn't cute in any way. in fact, other than his character, everything thing else about him, is the total opposite of the "ideal boyfriend" you had in mind?
Or, would you go for someone whom you admire, someone whom excels at sports, is tanned and lean, everything you would ask for in terms of outer appearance in your "ideal boyfriend" visuals? but who you aren't sure if he'd be there for you when you're at your lowest, care for you like the former does, takes interest in your life, makes you feel good instead of lousy, but whom you think if all works out fine, he's what makes your heart race. he's what's your definition of love. but is this love trustworthy? is this love worth risking for?
Then again, can the feelings for the former one ever develop into love? or would it just be another case of inner guilt from your part, should your heart race for others but him?
would you go with your head, or your heart? pick the one that you know, will probably love you in the long run and care for you, but whom you know you don't love as much, have no idea how much you can possibly love him, and even if you do love him, whether it's out of gratitude or brewed feelings?
or would you risk it all, risk losing the guy who's been there for you, just for the latter, your eyecandy, the one who makes your heart race like it never had? and possible experience love on a whole new level once again? but whom you aren't sure how it'd turn out to be?
if you were me, what would you do?
to be honest, i have no idea which one i'd go for. i'm not sure if i'd be willing to risk it all again. then again, i'm not sure if i can ever love the former one either. yes to me, he's a really really good friend at the moment, but i'm not sure if i'll be capable of giving him the same care and concern or even the minimal attention in the long run.
madd told me to give myself time.
daryl told me to give myself time too.
but madd advised me to try going out with the latter, to see if he's the type of guy i can even ever picture a future with. only then will i have a clearer answer.
daryl told me he'd go for the one who loves him, who'd be there for him in the long run.
what do i want? i need to figure it out...
i'm going through a really rough period in my life, trying to battle with chronic depression issues and it'd be best if i can find someone to rely on enough, to know he would leave me in the lurch on my depressed days. who'd comfort me when i need it. but i cant get into a relationship with a person, not knowing if i can reciprocate in the near future...
Or, would you go for someone whom you admire, someone whom excels at sports, is tanned and lean, everything you would ask for in terms of outer appearance in your "ideal boyfriend" visuals? but who you aren't sure if he'd be there for you when you're at your lowest, care for you like the former does, takes interest in your life, makes you feel good instead of lousy, but whom you think if all works out fine, he's what makes your heart race. he's what's your definition of love. but is this love trustworthy? is this love worth risking for?
Then again, can the feelings for the former one ever develop into love? or would it just be another case of inner guilt from your part, should your heart race for others but him?
would you go with your head, or your heart? pick the one that you know, will probably love you in the long run and care for you, but whom you know you don't love as much, have no idea how much you can possibly love him, and even if you do love him, whether it's out of gratitude or brewed feelings?
or would you risk it all, risk losing the guy who's been there for you, just for the latter, your eyecandy, the one who makes your heart race like it never had? and possible experience love on a whole new level once again? but whom you aren't sure how it'd turn out to be?
if you were me, what would you do?
to be honest, i have no idea which one i'd go for. i'm not sure if i'd be willing to risk it all again. then again, i'm not sure if i can ever love the former one either. yes to me, he's a really really good friend at the moment, but i'm not sure if i'll be capable of giving him the same care and concern or even the minimal attention in the long run.
madd told me to give myself time.
daryl told me to give myself time too.
but madd advised me to try going out with the latter, to see if he's the type of guy i can even ever picture a future with. only then will i have a clearer answer.
daryl told me he'd go for the one who loves him, who'd be there for him in the long run.
what do i want? i need to figure it out...
i'm going through a really rough period in my life, trying to battle with chronic depression issues and it'd be best if i can find someone to rely on enough, to know he would leave me in the lurch on my depressed days. who'd comfort me when i need it. but i cant get into a relationship with a person, not knowing if i can reciprocate in the near future...
spin me silly, 4:21 AM.
