Tuesday, January 31, 2012
i wanna go summer abroad program, to korea. (:
it's my last chance before i enter the workforce!
and it's something i've always wanted.
6 weeks program. i get to explore lovely korea too :D
jung yong hwa! lol. and all the yummylicious foods!
Kimchi! Bulgogi! YueGaeJyang! JyaJyangMeon! Ddukbbokki!
DAEBAK.
now the only problem is finding a fellow girl who wanna go with me. :( cause even if i bring a good guy friend along, we can't share the same dorm, and i'll probably have to sleep with strangers! D:
the benefits of being single. travel with no worries. so love it. hahaha! unlike last year, didn't go because of club commitments and because of him. woohoo!
training was another painful affair for me today. ouch. :(
i thought only the guitar will make my fingers hurt like this. alas, bowling too. D:
wanna pick up golf for real this time. any takers who wanna take golf lessons with me? :| think it's cheaper if its in twos or more..
tbh, after 3 years of studying banking and finance, i regret not switching courses after i realized it isn't what i want.
i'm more into the arts and sciences than into administration...but i chose this route because it's the only secured industry that pays more... not sure if i did the right thing.
what to do, my dream of being a doctor, helping others and healing the sick will never be fulfilled already, so what's the point? :(
realized i've had so many dreams as a kid: doctor, musician (pianist), actress, but none of these have realized. L O L.
gone were those sparkles in my eye that used to signal my young and innocent days..where the world seemed like a fairytale world. oh well.
okay shan't talk crap.
stars. make me happy. (:
it's my last chance before i enter the workforce!
and it's something i've always wanted.
6 weeks program. i get to explore lovely korea too :D
jung yong hwa! lol. and all the yummylicious foods!
Kimchi! Bulgogi! YueGaeJyang! JyaJyangMeon! Ddukbbokki!
DAEBAK.
now the only problem is finding a fellow girl who wanna go with me. :( cause even if i bring a good guy friend along, we can't share the same dorm, and i'll probably have to sleep with strangers! D:
the benefits of being single. travel with no worries. so love it. hahaha! unlike last year, didn't go because of club commitments and because of him. woohoo!
training was another painful affair for me today. ouch. :(
i thought only the guitar will make my fingers hurt like this. alas, bowling too. D:
wanna pick up golf for real this time. any takers who wanna take golf lessons with me? :| think it's cheaper if its in twos or more..
tbh, after 3 years of studying banking and finance, i regret not switching courses after i realized it isn't what i want.
i'm more into the arts and sciences than into administration...but i chose this route because it's the only secured industry that pays more... not sure if i did the right thing.
what to do, my dream of being a doctor, helping others and healing the sick will never be fulfilled already, so what's the point? :(
realized i've had so many dreams as a kid: doctor, musician (pianist), actress, but none of these have realized. L O L.
gone were those sparkles in my eye that used to signal my young and innocent days..where the world seemed like a fairytale world. oh well.
okay shan't talk crap.
stars. make me happy. (:
spin me silly, 1:55 AM.
Monday, January 30, 2012
lol! look at my creation! hahaha. i was too bored. so i decided to disturb the guys a little. :P
CNY visiting was awesome! although i lost like $30 in ban luck. :(
but overall, it was great! and i got to go to a house i love to visit again. a yearly affair. lol. however, i missed out on my relative's new house. it was demolished and rebuilt.
my siblings told me that there was a theatre room, an infinity pool, days beds for star gazing at night, and that their toilets alone, are bigger than my room. twice the size! :( damnit. half regretting not going to take a look already.
the rich get richer indeed...
i wonder what my house will look like next time? haha. in anyways, i'll definitely wanna do my own interior designing! (; balinese concept ftw.
djokovic won nadal! woohoo! not like it matters since it isn't federer who won. :( but still, djokovic over nadal! (:
it's almost 4 months since the breakup, (today's 30th Jan 2012.. on 31st Jan 2011, my life changed when Ian gave me T's number and told me to wish him happy birthday myself...one year le. look how things have turned out...it's funny how fate likes to play tricks on us..)
oh well, i'm happier these days. happy that i don't have commitments, happy that i don't have any responsibility to uphold, with regards to this aspect. i'm carefree, i don't need to report to anyone, i'm not emotionally bounded by one person. it's just awesomeeeeee. (:
and i'm glad we are slowly starting to talk again. (; i can't say i'm fully over him though...cause...somehow or rather, there's still this little feeling in my heart...that i can't put in words, whenever we talk. but i have accepted reality. we have too many differences. (;
on the other hand, i'm scared of advances from anyone else. i seem to be avoiding everyone who's been trying to advance on me. already 2 and counting...i think i'm being like this cause i like being alone so that i won't get hurt that way again..true story...
especially those who are very fierce/all out in trying to ask me out. like what happened last year and the year before. zZ zZ zZ... :(
wonder what it'll take for me to ever dare to love again?
i don't know and i don't wanna know for now. all i know is that i have to study..i think, like yuan yuan did, i'm gonna put my studies and career first for now. until i can secure my job and all that then start opening my mind to the huge possibilities of getting hurt again. lol..
oh well, look like mum's gonna be happy. she told me to be single for a year. cause she's had enough, seeing me with all the wrong guys for boyfriends. looks like it might actually be achievable this time? lol.
okay. 3.47am. am gonna sleep at least half an hour earlier until i can hit 1.30am/2am bedtime, so that i can get into my study regime. (:
nights nights!!
CNY visiting was awesome! although i lost like $30 in ban luck. :(but overall, it was great! and i got to go to a house i love to visit again. a yearly affair. lol. however, i missed out on my relative's new house. it was demolished and rebuilt.
my siblings told me that there was a theatre room, an infinity pool, days beds for star gazing at night, and that their toilets alone, are bigger than my room. twice the size! :( damnit. half regretting not going to take a look already.
the rich get richer indeed...
i wonder what my house will look like next time? haha. in anyways, i'll definitely wanna do my own interior designing! (; balinese concept ftw.
djokovic won nadal! woohoo! not like it matters since it isn't federer who won. :( but still, djokovic over nadal! (:
it's almost 4 months since the breakup, (today's 30th Jan 2012.. on 31st Jan 2011, my life changed when Ian gave me T's number and told me to wish him happy birthday myself...one year le. look how things have turned out...it's funny how fate likes to play tricks on us..)
oh well, i'm happier these days. happy that i don't have commitments, happy that i don't have any responsibility to uphold, with regards to this aspect. i'm carefree, i don't need to report to anyone, i'm not emotionally bounded by one person. it's just awesomeeeeee. (:
and i'm glad we are slowly starting to talk again. (; i can't say i'm fully over him though...cause...somehow or rather, there's still this little feeling in my heart...that i can't put in words, whenever we talk. but i have accepted reality. we have too many differences. (;
on the other hand, i'm scared of advances from anyone else. i seem to be avoiding everyone who's been trying to advance on me. already 2 and counting...i think i'm being like this cause i like being alone so that i won't get hurt that way again..true story...
especially those who are very fierce/all out in trying to ask me out. like what happened last year and the year before. zZ zZ zZ... :(
wonder what it'll take for me to ever dare to love again?
i don't know and i don't wanna know for now. all i know is that i have to study..i think, like yuan yuan did, i'm gonna put my studies and career first for now. until i can secure my job and all that then start opening my mind to the huge possibilities of getting hurt again. lol..
oh well, look like mum's gonna be happy. she told me to be single for a year. cause she's had enough, seeing me with all the wrong guys for boyfriends. looks like it might actually be achievable this time? lol.
okay. 3.47am. am gonna sleep at least half an hour earlier until i can hit 1.30am/2am bedtime, so that i can get into my study regime. (:
nights nights!!
spin me silly, 3:15 AM.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
omg. i'm confused. shit shit shit.
it's funny how stuff seldom turn out the way you expect it to be, especially with matters of the heart? this.is.so.wrong. what's going on?! i really don't know! 몰라요!!! D:
i think there's a little selfish part of me that wants things the way they are so that i can have enough time to figure out the one whole big chunk of jumbled up thoughts and feelings in my head, at least for awhile, at least for now.. okay, it's an understatement. there's a REALLY REALLY BIG MESS IN THERE NOW. OHMYTIANN.
somebody, anybody, just take a hammer and knock me unconscious please!
okay. i have officially 3 months to study for 5 papers. it's time to hit the panic button alreadyyy~ confusion? leave it for break time between studies!
it's funny how stuff seldom turn out the way you expect it to be, especially with matters of the heart? this.is.so.wrong. what's going on?! i really don't know! 몰라요!!! D:
i think there's a little selfish part of me that wants things the way they are so that i can have enough time to figure out the one whole big chunk of jumbled up thoughts and feelings in my head, at least for awhile, at least for now.. okay, it's an understatement. there's a REALLY REALLY BIG MESS IN THERE NOW. OHMYTIANN.
somebody, anybody, just take a hammer and knock me unconscious please!
okay. i have officially 3 months to study for 5 papers. it's time to hit the panic button alreadyyy~ confusion? leave it for break time between studies!
spin me silly, 2:01 AM.
Friday, January 27, 2012
the glistening stars in the clear night sky,
the mild sea breeze that never dies,
the sound of the crashing waves as they hit the shore,
the silky sand,
the peacefulness of it all.
along with the polaris, iced sugarcane drinks and the red bean potong ice cream that brought about childhood memories.
it felt like a short getaway from the hectic world.
and a step closer to nature.
thanks lor soh one!
i loved it. (:
oh boy. there's still alot of sand left on my feet~~!
the mild sea breeze that never dies,
the sound of the crashing waves as they hit the shore,
the silky sand,
the peacefulness of it all.
along with the polaris, iced sugarcane drinks and the red bean potong ice cream that brought about childhood memories.
it felt like a short getaway from the hectic world.
and a step closer to nature.
thanks lor soh one!
i loved it. (:
oh boy. there's still alot of sand left on my feet~~!
spin me silly, 12:57 AM.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
it was a good day. (:
with little evan (3 yrs old) and kai kai (4 days to 1 year old) to play with when my mum's colleagues came to my house for bai nian-ing.
my right arm totally couldn't carry baby kai kai for more than 20 minutes!!! :( but he was reluctant to let anyone else carry him, my arm totally GG-ed after that. it couldn't stop shaking at all!
at this rate, by the time i marry and have my own babies (if i ever ever ever marry anyways...zzz),
how am i gonna have the stamina to carry them and run after them??! oh my tiannn :(
yuanyuan came to bai nian halfway, but nah, he couldn't even get little evan's attention. LOL. sad leh he. hahaha. after which, yuan yuan joined my family for dinner at 小红楼, and gobbled up all the chilli crab :X
and then it was bowling at MF~! i bowled like shit, as usual. i can't even get a proper timing. urgh..ended up having to owe mr huang yuan yuan a cup of grass jelly koi bubble tea. :(
mum, dad and him won ang paos. bro and i, suck thumb. :(
saw Mihara san too. he bowled 22 games luh! and another 21 games ytd! oh my tians!!! I wonder how does he achieve such a feat at 66 years old?!
sighs. i'm going on with life, not clear of my own goals or what i want to achieve. It's meaningless without a goal, isn't it? it used to just be "oh, i wanna be happily married, with 2 kids and a house and a car and a doting hubby", but no, i don't think life is that simple anymore. nothing ever goes according to plan...and now, it's like near a quarter life crisis! :(((
i admire those with big goals, be it achievable or not, because at least they're working hard for something they want. how can i work hard if i don't know what i want? am i gonna spend the rest of my life not knowing it too??
shoot. shag. marry.
lol. i have never thought about friends this way before, not until i played this game anyway. it's funny. L O L. no one shall ever know my choices anyways. :\
okay.. time to do up my emails for bowling club. sighs. i hate it...i don't think anyone appreciates it anyways. on the contrary, there are those who hate me over misunderstandings. and i don't think i'll ever be able to clear my name.. i guess, i'm gonna just let it be.
with little evan (3 yrs old) and kai kai (4 days to 1 year old) to play with when my mum's colleagues came to my house for bai nian-ing.
my right arm totally couldn't carry baby kai kai for more than 20 minutes!!! :( but he was reluctant to let anyone else carry him, my arm totally GG-ed after that. it couldn't stop shaking at all!
at this rate, by the time i marry and have my own babies (if i ever ever ever marry anyways...zzz),
how am i gonna have the stamina to carry them and run after them??! oh my tiannn :(
yuanyuan came to bai nian halfway, but nah, he couldn't even get little evan's attention. LOL. sad leh he. hahaha. after which, yuan yuan joined my family for dinner at 小红楼, and gobbled up all the chilli crab :X
and then it was bowling at MF~! i bowled like shit, as usual. i can't even get a proper timing. urgh..ended up having to owe mr huang yuan yuan a cup of grass jelly koi bubble tea. :(
mum, dad and him won ang paos. bro and i, suck thumb. :(
saw Mihara san too. he bowled 22 games luh! and another 21 games ytd! oh my tians!!! I wonder how does he achieve such a feat at 66 years old?!
sighs. i'm going on with life, not clear of my own goals or what i want to achieve. It's meaningless without a goal, isn't it? it used to just be "oh, i wanna be happily married, with 2 kids and a house and a car and a doting hubby", but no, i don't think life is that simple anymore. nothing ever goes according to plan...and now, it's like near a quarter life crisis! :(((
i admire those with big goals, be it achievable or not, because at least they're working hard for something they want. how can i work hard if i don't know what i want? am i gonna spend the rest of my life not knowing it too??
shoot. shag. marry.
lol. i have never thought about friends this way before, not until i played this game anyway. it's funny. L O L. no one shall ever know my choices anyways. :\
okay.. time to do up my emails for bowling club. sighs. i hate it...i don't think anyone appreciates it anyways. on the contrary, there are those who hate me over misunderstandings. and i don't think i'll ever be able to clear my name.. i guess, i'm gonna just let it be.
spin me silly, 2:15 AM.
Monday, January 23, 2012
happy chinese new year everyone! (:
okay. 4 hours to sleep. shit. i'm screwed.
i stayed up long enough for my parents to have a long life right? >.<
GOODNIGHT! (:
okay. 4 hours to sleep. shit. i'm screwed.
i stayed up long enough for my parents to have a long life right? >.<
GOODNIGHT! (:
spin me silly, 5:00 AM.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
again. 5am. wins.
hopefully when i really start mugging, i'd be sleepless like this too, then maybe i'll be able to cramp more stuff into my head instead of sleeping 9 hours a day..
just finished watching a 2009 korean drama, for my favouritest idol, jung yong hwa! was in it :P my favourite! melts. hahaha. (:
okay time to try to sleep before mum or dad drag me out to Labrador Park for a walk in the wee hours of the morning (if they can even get me to go anyways :X )
it's gonna be CNY already... i still remember last CNY... really clearly...
dear CNY 2011, i rather you fade away please...
this CNY, please do not let me fall into the same shit hole again. chebal! :(
heard that it's supposed to be a good year for the rabbits, please, let it be good...
just, not a repeat of 2011.
i don't wanna lose more people i love. i don't wanna gain anyone, just to lose them again anymore...
hopefully when i really start mugging, i'd be sleepless like this too, then maybe i'll be able to cramp more stuff into my head instead of sleeping 9 hours a day..
just finished watching a 2009 korean drama, for my favouritest idol, jung yong hwa! was in it :P my favourite! melts. hahaha. (:
okay time to try to sleep before mum or dad drag me out to Labrador Park for a walk in the wee hours of the morning (if they can even get me to go anyways :X )
it's gonna be CNY already... i still remember last CNY... really clearly...
dear CNY 2011, i rather you fade away please...
this CNY, please do not let me fall into the same shit hole again. chebal! :(
heard that it's supposed to be a good year for the rabbits, please, let it be good...
just, not a repeat of 2011.
i don't wanna lose more people i love. i don't wanna gain anyone, just to lose them again anymore...
spin me silly, 4:57 AM.
Friday, January 20, 2012
I CAN'T SLEEP. AND IT'S FREAKIN' 5.22AM.
ohmytiannnnnnnns.
goodbye friday morning class :(
crapp.
study la mel, study! everyone's so far ahead of you already! :((
urghhh.
oh yah peeps, buy toto! if you're fated to win the 7 million, you will. lol~! :X
ohmytiannnnnnnns.
goodbye friday morning class :(
crapp.
study la mel, study! everyone's so far ahead of you already! :((
urghhh.
oh yah peeps, buy toto! if you're fated to win the 7 million, you will. lol~! :X
spin me silly, 5:20 AM.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Self doubts.
I wonder...
do third parties really see it better?
몰라요!!! 😖😣😭
Can't sleep!
and I wonder, who was it in there?
Urghh. My face no longer looks as youthful as it should.
The feeling sucks :(
Time to learn to put proper makeup and practice skin care I guess?
沒想到我也會有這麼一天 :(
Ottoke..Chebal, stop growing older!
It just suddenly hit me that I'm already 24,
Still keep thinking i'm only 23. :(
Aish.
5:19am. Ohmytiannn.
Won't stop coughing from an itchy throat in aircon room.
spin me silly, 5:10 AM.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
and the week went by in a flash.
and i'm still so in love with kz's house. it's like my dream house luh! the whole interior designing was LOVES. wooden wooden feel, akin to Balinese concept. Give you the feeling like you're in a beach villa rather than in a house.
sighs. why am i always so affected by his status updates?! obviously haven't fully gotten over it. i'm getting damn annoyed with myself. URGH.
all thanks to him...
i used to really anticipate love to be like that:
watching the sunset with your other half by the beach
traveling the world with my other half, taking in all the beautiful sights like this.
enjoying each other's company at any point of time.
and eventually get married. and enjoy life together.
but after the recently failed relationship and the mess left behind, all i want now is to be alone. letting no one else into my heart or my life once again. never wanting myself to be in that stupidly vulnerable and trollable position again. i got burnt badly, and i should have known better than to play with fire...
so while everyone is desperate to find someone, i'm like...
yeah, solitary. just wanna be alone. something's wrong with me, isn't it?
i should be panicking, that at age 24, while all my friends are happily attached for years and getting married; while my dad's friend's sons and daughters are all getting married too, and i'm still single. but. contradictorily, i only wanna be away from all this mess, this nonsense. urghh.. happy to be alone.
yeah, just wanna sit quietly and stone alone sometimes. stare into space. listen to the waves, look at the stars. and just well, BE ALONE. :( this feeling is terrible. @#$%#^#
worried over a friend lately. i hope she's feeling better, though no one can feel better in the mess she's in now. sighs, hopefully everything will be alright... at least she has someone who's there for her. and he's someone reliable. envious...
dear friends, please stop sprouting nonsense! stop it or else it's gonna be awkward! :( i don't wanna think so much. so let me off!! :(
okay, dozing off. probably sprouting nonsense again soon. signing off!
and i'm still so in love with kz's house. it's like my dream house luh! the whole interior designing was LOVES. wooden wooden feel, akin to Balinese concept. Give you the feeling like you're in a beach villa rather than in a house.
sighs. why am i always so affected by his status updates?! obviously haven't fully gotten over it. i'm getting damn annoyed with myself. URGH.
all thanks to him...
i used to really anticipate love to be like that:
watching the sunset with your other half by the beach traveling the world with my other half, taking in all the beautiful sights like this. enjoying each other's company at any point of time. and eventually get married. and enjoy life together.but after the recently failed relationship and the mess left behind, all i want now is to be alone. letting no one else into my heart or my life once again. never wanting myself to be in that stupidly vulnerable and trollable position again. i got burnt badly, and i should have known better than to play with fire...
so while everyone is desperate to find someone, i'm like...
yeah, solitary. just wanna be alone. something's wrong with me, isn't it?
i should be panicking, that at age 24, while all my friends are happily attached for years and getting married; while my dad's friend's sons and daughters are all getting married too, and i'm still single. but. contradictorily, i only wanna be away from all this mess, this nonsense. urghh.. happy to be alone.
yeah, just wanna sit quietly and stone alone sometimes. stare into space. listen to the waves, look at the stars. and just well, BE ALONE. :( this feeling is terrible. @#$%#^#worried over a friend lately. i hope she's feeling better, though no one can feel better in the mess she's in now. sighs, hopefully everything will be alright... at least she has someone who's there for her. and he's someone reliable. envious...
dear friends, please stop sprouting nonsense! stop it or else it's gonna be awkward! :( i don't wanna think so much. so let me off!! :(
okay, dozing off. probably sprouting nonsense again soon. signing off!
spin me silly, 3:18 AM.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
my best birthday yet! (:
thank you so much guys. although my birthday wasn't like i imagined it would be as of march last year (which was spending it happily with him), i am still really happy at the awesome surprise. thank you guys for brightening up my room with colorful balloons and your presence! (;
thank you kor and mich, for the surprise planning. hahaha. <3 you 2 were the bestest things that ever happened to me in that relationship. and for that, i'm thankful that the relationship happened. it showed me that love comes in many ways. (;
my birthday wish for this year:
- is that everyone's happy and healthy and that they can find love. (although sometimes love does bring along heartbreaks and heartaches and tears, it's still worth it at the end..)
tanjong beach with lala and kenneth and xy and kz and guoyuan at saturday midnight was really relaxing. it felt like nothing mattered at that time. it was that peaceful, it was that relaxing. just the sea breeze, the nice view, the sky, the moon, the swaying trees, the sound of the waves, and us on the picnic mat, singing along to old songs, rolling in the sand. this. is. life. away from all the hectic stuffs and the unhappy stuffs.
thank you guys for helping me get back on my feet again. for showing me that life can still be beautiful even after the one you love has left you all alone and gone for somebody new..
it's been 3 months and don't know how many days... okay yes i know, 10 days.. -.- and with each day, i'm healing. no idea how long the healing process will be, but i know i am. and that's all that matters to me now. bit by bit, i'll let him go. and save the space in my heart for someone new when there's enough space by then.. (;
sighs. i still feel horrible, like i'm hanging out with his friends and resulting in him having no one to hang out with during those times... but i really don't wanna lose this group of friends.. because they mean something to me too. so i'm hanging on, even if it means being thick skinned...like i feel sometimes whenever i hang out with them :(
but they are the people who make me laugh, who make me happy whenever they are around.. and they mean alot...
really time to start opening my books...don't wanna end up like last year..no more distractions from relationships. time to sleep more and study even more. before i join the rest in the workforce. (;
thank you so much guys. although my birthday wasn't like i imagined it would be as of march last year (which was spending it happily with him), i am still really happy at the awesome surprise. thank you guys for brightening up my room with colorful balloons and your presence! (;
thank you kor and mich, for the surprise planning. hahaha. <3 you 2 were the bestest things that ever happened to me in that relationship. and for that, i'm thankful that the relationship happened. it showed me that love comes in many ways. (;
my birthday wish for this year:
- is that everyone's happy and healthy and that they can find love. (although sometimes love does bring along heartbreaks and heartaches and tears, it's still worth it at the end..)
tanjong beach with lala and kenneth and xy and kz and guoyuan at saturday midnight was really relaxing. it felt like nothing mattered at that time. it was that peaceful, it was that relaxing. just the sea breeze, the nice view, the sky, the moon, the swaying trees, the sound of the waves, and us on the picnic mat, singing along to old songs, rolling in the sand. this. is. life. away from all the hectic stuffs and the unhappy stuffs.
thank you guys for helping me get back on my feet again. for showing me that life can still be beautiful even after the one you love has left you all alone and gone for somebody new..
it's been 3 months and don't know how many days... okay yes i know, 10 days.. -.- and with each day, i'm healing. no idea how long the healing process will be, but i know i am. and that's all that matters to me now. bit by bit, i'll let him go. and save the space in my heart for someone new when there's enough space by then.. (;
sighs. i still feel horrible, like i'm hanging out with his friends and resulting in him having no one to hang out with during those times... but i really don't wanna lose this group of friends.. because they mean something to me too. so i'm hanging on, even if it means being thick skinned...like i feel sometimes whenever i hang out with them :(
but they are the people who make me laugh, who make me happy whenever they are around.. and they mean alot...
really time to start opening my books...don't wanna end up like last year..no more distractions from relationships. time to sleep more and study even more. before i join the rest in the workforce. (;
spin me silly, 2:11 AM.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
"studying" day one, epic fail.
ended up going for lunch with rach, kenny and jacksen and then off to their place for mj.
so much for resisting temptation. urgh.
it's gonna be 4am already.
thinking about a friend. a friend who got controlled. a friend who can't meet up for meals with me anymore... so i guess i lost a friend like that? :( then again, i don't wanna look like the horrible one. screw it. i don't know why. the feeling i get when my friend told me he can't meet me again, made me wanna exclaim "I AM NOT A VIXEN, bitch!" urgh. seriously. whatever. sucha rotten feeling. it's not like i met him one on one either. what the shit. i keep getting alot of crap these days. :(
and to the one big blabbermouth, i'm done and over with him. so to him, please stay outta my life for good. thanks. he has issues for trying to sow discord between people! stir shit for us only. if he can't keep his mouth shut, then so be it. friends don't do this to one another. he totally just crossed the line.
yes, time to plan grad trip!!! woohoo!
but first up, i really gotta go pay my examination fees, and then get down to studying and graduate before i can even think. Gahh.
nights world.
p.s. i'm so glad i didn't bump into him at mf today. was gonna freak out when the "what's new? " huifen walked past me. i just wanted to run far far away from mf there and then.
:(
4 days to my birthday. holy crap. i'm turning twenty four. this is saddening. :(
ended up going for lunch with rach, kenny and jacksen and then off to their place for mj.
so much for resisting temptation. urgh.
it's gonna be 4am already.
thinking about a friend. a friend who got controlled. a friend who can't meet up for meals with me anymore... so i guess i lost a friend like that? :( then again, i don't wanna look like the horrible one. screw it. i don't know why. the feeling i get when my friend told me he can't meet me again, made me wanna exclaim "I AM NOT A VIXEN, bitch!" urgh. seriously. whatever. sucha rotten feeling. it's not like i met him one on one either. what the shit. i keep getting alot of crap these days. :(
and to the one big blabbermouth, i'm done and over with him. so to him, please stay outta my life for good. thanks. he has issues for trying to sow discord between people! stir shit for us only. if he can't keep his mouth shut, then so be it. friends don't do this to one another. he totally just crossed the line.
yes, time to plan grad trip!!! woohoo!
but first up, i really gotta go pay my examination fees, and then get down to studying and graduate before i can even think. Gahh.
nights world.
p.s. i'm so glad i didn't bump into him at mf today. was gonna freak out when the "what's new? " huifen walked past me. i just wanted to run far far away from mf there and then.
:(
4 days to my birthday. holy crap. i'm turning twenty four. this is saddening. :(
spin me silly, 3:06 AM.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
tired.
tired.
tired.
time for bed.
all the best to those going back to work later. and to kor who's starting work life. LOL.
kor zhang da le. :\
tired.
tired.
time for bed.
all the best to those going back to work later. and to kor who's starting work life. LOL.
kor zhang da le. :\
spin me silly, 3:38 AM.
Monday, January 2, 2012
f. this dream is worse than any others of those i've dreamt about you.
seriously, if you wanna appear in my dreams, appear in a hateful way or a stranger way, not this way :(
WHY LIDDAT?!
sighs. seriously. lying on my legs to sleep while overseas on holiday together? WAH LAO.
seriously brain, this has to stop. if this continues, i might mix reality up with dreams yeah? :((
really frustrated. if only i can control my own dreams.
are dreams a signal i havent moved on? or what? sighs. horrible feeling it is. i vaguely remember waking up but wanting to go back to sleep to continue dreaming. subconscious state. fml..
seriously, if you wanna appear in my dreams, appear in a hateful way or a stranger way, not this way :(
WHY LIDDAT?!
sighs. seriously. lying on my legs to sleep while overseas on holiday together? WAH LAO.
seriously brain, this has to stop. if this continues, i might mix reality up with dreams yeah? :((
really frustrated. if only i can control my own dreams.
are dreams a signal i havent moved on? or what? sighs. horrible feeling it is. i vaguely remember waking up but wanting to go back to sleep to continue dreaming. subconscious state. fml..
spin me silly, 1:16 PM.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
It's a brand new year.
Hopefully this year, no one will play with my heart or fool around with my devotion and my feelings anymore. the past year had been good till April..
And happy 3rd month Edd and Jas.
Seeing the way they are happy together, is actually helping me to move on a little faster, when I see the stark contrast in attitude and efforts put into a relationship from the guy's side as compared to my previous relationship...and it only reminded me of the first month we were together that such efforts were made. How did I even survive through half a year on just my one sided love? I start to wonder.
I'm happy just seeing the rings they got.
Hopefully this time, there will be no more 8 pairs yeah. One that will last for good. that won't rust, that won't be misplaced or mistreated. (:
she's blessed.
i wish I could be as blessed in finding someone who cares just this much too.. Just sick of being taken for granted, sick of being played time and again.. start the new year happy, forgive and forget, let bygones be bygones..
2012, please be a better year.
please let the awkwardness go away,
please let everyone be happy,
please let love bring happiness and companionship to my dearest friends.
Thank you to the people who have supported me through my roughest days of 2011. thank you guys, for teaching me that other kinds of love exist.
2012 is the year to grow up.
In 6 months time, I'll be a graduate. I have to earn my own keep, I have to join the working world, i can't play or enjoy life like I used to without much worries anymore. I can't pon sch or take leave anytime I don't feel like working anymore.
Life didn't turn out as I planned when I was 18 onwards. Lol. I didn't go to JC, I didn't go to the 3 local uni, I didn't get a boyfriend, date him for 4 years and then get married at an ideal age of 27. Lol! But I believe life has plans for me and everything will work itself out one way or another. So heck.
Happy new year everyone. the sun's back up to tell us it's gonna be a good year ahead. even of the world were to really end on 21st dec, (which I really hope not), enjoy the year to the very best. Love, laugh, hope like always. (;
Life didn't turn out as I planned when I was 18 onwards. Lol. I didn't go to JC, I didn't go to the 3 local uni, I didn't get a boyfriend, date him for 4 years and then get married at an ideal age of 27. Lol! But I believe life has plans for me and everything will work itself out one way or another. So heck.
Happy new year everyone. the sun's back up to tell us it's gonna be a good year ahead. even of the world were to really end on 21st dec, (which I really hope not), enjoy the year to the very best. Love, laugh, hope like always. (;
irregardlessly, be happy.
spin me silly, 2:30 PM.
