Tuesday, May 31, 2011
i pulled my right butt muscle, the one slightly below my right butt as well. and someone told me it's because i'm finally bowling right. i'm happy. i've actually found a comfortable swing, a comfortable balance and steps too! i'm finally getting it. bowled a 158 during training today, a far cry from my normal 120's. today's training finally felt like a proper training. it has the appropriate amount of people, the perfect atmosphere, and lotsa bonding along the way. i'm happy! (:
i'm only sad he didnt come to support me after training. to support me, to show to some ass that i made the right choice, that he cared...felt like shit actually. because he would have come to find me normally, no matter how tired he was, like the day before he had to leave for the Philippines...or the day he came back from the Philippines. things have changed, haven't they? he was sweeter when we weren't together... i miss that dear of mine then...
its like 9 days and counting that we haven't seen each other. i'm missing him but when i tell him that, he doesn't respond that he misses me too. he skipped that totally and after which, merely promised to spend all his remaining time after competition (apart from the trainings he has), with me... because we've been talking to little to each other the past 9 days, i feel like...i feel detached from his life. or rather, that he's super detached from mine... he doesnt know what's going on in my life. he didnt remember training was at yishun today even though i told him already. he didn't know what i was doing for most of the past 2 days...
life of a "mistress", (with bowling being his wife), isn't exactly fun. but i'm trying my best and giving him the benefit of the doubt that he'll keep to his promise after this ends... i really hope so. cause it gets tiring, it really does. the feeling of seeing all my friends with their bf's bringing them around, ferrying them around, making them laugh, hugging them, but mine is too busy to bother even that much about me... it sucks... ttm...
sometimes i tell myself i'm understanding, but other times, it's just..really really hard trying to hold it all in, to tell myself i'm independent and not a emotionally needy gf...
='(
dear god, just let him finish his 2 MQs well tomorrow, will you please?
it's the 9th day i haven't seen him, because of qualifiers and tourneys... and i'm starting to feel it...like the distance growing between us.
fml. stop emo-ing la mel. you hate it when people say you are emo, he hates it when you emo too.
then again, i'm only human...and humans have emotions...
i'm only sad he didnt come to support me after training. to support me, to show to some ass that i made the right choice, that he cared...felt like shit actually. because he would have come to find me normally, no matter how tired he was, like the day before he had to leave for the Philippines...or the day he came back from the Philippines. things have changed, haven't they? he was sweeter when we weren't together... i miss that dear of mine then...
its like 9 days and counting that we haven't seen each other. i'm missing him but when i tell him that, he doesn't respond that he misses me too. he skipped that totally and after which, merely promised to spend all his remaining time after competition (apart from the trainings he has), with me... because we've been talking to little to each other the past 9 days, i feel like...i feel detached from his life. or rather, that he's super detached from mine... he doesnt know what's going on in my life. he didnt remember training was at yishun today even though i told him already. he didn't know what i was doing for most of the past 2 days...
life of a "mistress", (with bowling being his wife), isn't exactly fun. but i'm trying my best and giving him the benefit of the doubt that he'll keep to his promise after this ends... i really hope so. cause it gets tiring, it really does. the feeling of seeing all my friends with their bf's bringing them around, ferrying them around, making them laugh, hugging them, but mine is too busy to bother even that much about me... it sucks... ttm...
sometimes i tell myself i'm understanding, but other times, it's just..really really hard trying to hold it all in, to tell myself i'm independent and not a emotionally needy gf...
='(
dear god, just let him finish his 2 MQs well tomorrow, will you please?
it's the 9th day i haven't seen him, because of qualifiers and tourneys... and i'm starting to feel it...like the distance growing between us.
fml. stop emo-ing la mel. you hate it when people say you are emo, he hates it when you emo too.
then again, i'm only human...and humans have emotions...
spin me silly, 2:51 AM.
