Thursday, June 30, 2011
i'm scared. much as i wanna ask it whether dear didnt text me after training because it was a bad day for him, or whether he only text me when he needed me...and it so happened he doesnt need me anymore for today...
so many insecurities within me. i don't know how to handle them.
have faith in him girl, you know he isn't that sort. it must just have been a rough day for him...his message was hostile when i wanted him to open up to me and share his feelings with me... he told me he doesnt share these kinda feelings with anyone. NO ONE. and he's not gonna share it. he rather sleep it off. so yah. <-- the exact tone. :(
there's nothing i can do. i only hope to find the key to open baby's heart and have him confide freely to me one day...
at least he said thanks dear to you right? i guess thats a good start. but i had to call dear today. because i know he's not gonna call. i heard dear's sian tone. i just hope he'll feel better soon.. cause there's nothing else i can do but support him this way... how i wish i were beside him everynight... then i can hug him to sleep and tell him that tomorrow will be a better day.
listening to esther telling me and finny how her boyfriend proposed to her at sentosa while doing high elements, i cant help but wonder... what will my proposal be like? will i even get married at the rate i'm going?!?! esther's only 25 and she's found her right man... is dear my right man? how do i even tell?! lol.
and today i realized, that i've been too naive in my thinking about people around me. not all of them are who i thought them to be, and it scares me much...
and i bought new bowling shoes today! but it's a freaking $220. i hope mum doesnt see my bank account... i'm serious about bowling. i wanna achieve any small something before i graduate from SIM... :( but i'm such a greenhorn i'm not even sure if its gonna work, even with hardwork. considering private training for basic drills already. i just want to start from the very beginning... as long as i can bowl consistently, spare consistently, i'll be contented!
dear god,
please let dear have a sweet dream and a good rest, so that he'll wake up a happy man and face the new day with a whole new renewed fighting spirit! if he's happy, i'll be happy.
thank you (:
(just hope he remembers to text me good morning though...i need my fuel for the day. *doubts*)
so many insecurities within me. i don't know how to handle them.
have faith in him girl, you know he isn't that sort. it must just have been a rough day for him...his message was hostile when i wanted him to open up to me and share his feelings with me... he told me he doesnt share these kinda feelings with anyone. NO ONE. and he's not gonna share it. he rather sleep it off. so yah. <-- the exact tone. :(
there's nothing i can do. i only hope to find the key to open baby's heart and have him confide freely to me one day...
at least he said thanks dear to you right? i guess thats a good start. but i had to call dear today. because i know he's not gonna call. i heard dear's sian tone. i just hope he'll feel better soon.. cause there's nothing else i can do but support him this way... how i wish i were beside him everynight... then i can hug him to sleep and tell him that tomorrow will be a better day.
listening to esther telling me and finny how her boyfriend proposed to her at sentosa while doing high elements, i cant help but wonder... what will my proposal be like? will i even get married at the rate i'm going?!?! esther's only 25 and she's found her right man... is dear my right man? how do i even tell?! lol.
and today i realized, that i've been too naive in my thinking about people around me. not all of them are who i thought them to be, and it scares me much...
and i bought new bowling shoes today! but it's a freaking $220. i hope mum doesnt see my bank account... i'm serious about bowling. i wanna achieve any small something before i graduate from SIM... :( but i'm such a greenhorn i'm not even sure if its gonna work, even with hardwork. considering private training for basic drills already. i just want to start from the very beginning... as long as i can bowl consistently, spare consistently, i'll be contented!
dear god,
please let dear have a sweet dream and a good rest, so that he'll wake up a happy man and face the new day with a whole new renewed fighting spirit! if he's happy, i'll be happy.
thank you (:
(just hope he remembers to text me good morning though...i need my fuel for the day. *doubts*)
spin me silly, 1:45 AM.
