Thursday, July 28, 2011
i'm tired ttm...cuddled in dear's bed, watching my fav show (for once i get to choose my show!), then fell asleep for awhile in dear's arms as he hugged me like a teddy bear. haha. he was snoring!!! omgness. and the snores are getting louder each day. lols.
i think...this will be the kinda safe and warm feeling i'll get when i'm married in the future i guess. whether or not its with dear... though i hope it to be. its like nothing else mattered for that period of time. it just felt... like nothing bad was gonna ever happen. wish time stopped then.
started coughing before we fell asleep though, itchy throat. and he sayang-ed and patted my back all the way till i stopped...
i guess. with his blunt mouth, its like what anna said. i can only see it through his small actions, whether or not i matter to him. simple things like carrying my bowling bag for me, hugging me when he sees that i'm so tired (he knows i love bear hugs), blanketing me when i'm exposed to the aircon, waking me up gently "dear, wake up. its late.. gotta head home le. before your mum complains...come.", accompanying me to pbc to sign up for my membership. all these small little stuffs i guess.
i think at one point while hugging him, like a little kid snuggled in my arms, i asked him "dear, are you afraid to 依赖别人？" because thats how i feel about him. that he's scared to depend on anyone but himself, because anyone, can just walk away or disappear or die just like that...and your heart will go with them. he didnt reply. (he'll usually refute.) so i just continued to hug him...
its the feeling of wanting to protect the one thing that matters to you most... maybe it's my motherly gf instinct. i dont know? haha.
work was so stressful today. i almost cried at one point when the people started throwing me stuffs from everywhere, asking me to figure them out myself...or being agitated with me whenever i try to ask questions. i'm starting to see the effects of it on my face. but his bear hugs and massage made me more relaxed le. thank you dear.
goodnight world. (:
my heart is back in your hands...handle it with care please. it's already fragile max. i guess i should trust you. and just be happy with you while it lasts. (:
i think...this will be the kinda safe and warm feeling i'll get when i'm married in the future i guess. whether or not its with dear... though i hope it to be. its like nothing else mattered for that period of time. it just felt... like nothing bad was gonna ever happen. wish time stopped then.
started coughing before we fell asleep though, itchy throat. and he sayang-ed and patted my back all the way till i stopped...
i guess. with his blunt mouth, its like what anna said. i can only see it through his small actions, whether or not i matter to him. simple things like carrying my bowling bag for me, hugging me when he sees that i'm so tired (he knows i love bear hugs), blanketing me when i'm exposed to the aircon, waking me up gently "dear, wake up. its late.. gotta head home le. before your mum complains...come.", accompanying me to pbc to sign up for my membership. all these small little stuffs i guess.
i think at one point while hugging him, like a little kid snuggled in my arms, i asked him "dear, are you afraid to 依赖别人？" because thats how i feel about him. that he's scared to depend on anyone but himself, because anyone, can just walk away or disappear or die just like that...and your heart will go with them. he didnt reply. (he'll usually refute.) so i just continued to hug him...
its the feeling of wanting to protect the one thing that matters to you most... maybe it's my motherly gf instinct. i dont know? haha.
work was so stressful today. i almost cried at one point when the people started throwing me stuffs from everywhere, asking me to figure them out myself...or being agitated with me whenever i try to ask questions. i'm starting to see the effects of it on my face. but his bear hugs and massage made me more relaxed le. thank you dear.
goodnight world. (:
my heart is back in your hands...handle it with care please. it's already fragile max. i guess i should trust you. and just be happy with you while it lasts. (:
spin me silly, 1:09 AM.
