Monday, July 18, 2011
would you come to me when one day, i get too tired to carry on?
i dont want you to let me go if i get tired of making all the efforts one day, on the contrary, i wish you would tell me you love me, cannot imagine life without me and win me back, right into your arms.
but i roughly know where i stand. its nowhere near your bowling or your friends...
i'm so so tired. i wish you will understand and come find me automatically like you used to instead.
sometimes i really want to ask him, if he's in it for lust or love...or in it just because its a responsibility, and not because he loves me anymore. i really dont know. am i his best friend? am i just being made used of for certain reasons? or am i still in the grey area, whereby he doesn't know how much i mean to him? i really have no idea. this is the first time i've been so insecured of where i stand in a relationship. i know i shouldnt bother too much. but somehow, its starting to bug me more, especially after friday night, 15 july 2011...a date i shall not forget for the rest of my life i guess.
i think if MCP is used to describe men, then i must be a FCP... because i'm the sort who wants my man to be the one giving in, caring for me and telling me he loves me, like everyday...i like to be the one who calls the shots...or decide on where i wanna go on dates...
i love him. i still do. i really want to believe in dear. that he'll not give me up just because he doesnt wanna make the bare minimal efforts...
dear god, please, let him be a more loving man. please stop testing me on my perseverance, on how long i can take giving in and making all the efforts, just to keep him by my side. because i'm seriously starting to doubt myself too...
on the positive note: baby got 3rd overall for rolloffs today! am so happy that he sounded so happy. (:
but he fell asleep le :( boohoos. he's probably too tired from the rolloffs. tsk.
i dont want you to let me go if i get tired of making all the efforts one day, on the contrary, i wish you would tell me you love me, cannot imagine life without me and win me back, right into your arms.
but i roughly know where i stand. its nowhere near your bowling or your friends...
i'm so so tired. i wish you will understand and come find me automatically like you used to instead.
sometimes i really want to ask him, if he's in it for lust or love...or in it just because its a responsibility, and not because he loves me anymore. i really dont know. am i his best friend? am i just being made used of for certain reasons? or am i still in the grey area, whereby he doesn't know how much i mean to him? i really have no idea. this is the first time i've been so insecured of where i stand in a relationship. i know i shouldnt bother too much. but somehow, its starting to bug me more, especially after friday night, 15 july 2011...a date i shall not forget for the rest of my life i guess.
i think if MCP is used to describe men, then i must be a FCP... because i'm the sort who wants my man to be the one giving in, caring for me and telling me he loves me, like everyday...i like to be the one who calls the shots...or decide on where i wanna go on dates...
i love him. i still do. i really want to believe in dear. that he'll not give me up just because he doesnt wanna make the bare minimal efforts...
dear god, please, let him be a more loving man. please stop testing me on my perseverance, on how long i can take giving in and making all the efforts, just to keep him by my side. because i'm seriously starting to doubt myself too...
on the positive note: baby got 3rd overall for rolloffs today! am so happy that he sounded so happy. (:
but he fell asleep le :( boohoos. he's probably too tired from the rolloffs. tsk.
spin me silly, 12:46 AM.
