Saturday, October 29, 2011
party timee! i'm sickk but screw it!
gonna dress up as a witch and head down to butterfac with poly mates. been so long since i last hung out with them. whee! (:
i'm still the good girl anyways, its just that... after getting hurt over and over again, and being thrown away and feeling unwanted and useless over and over again, it's about time i take some time out and go wild once in awhile! (those who know me know my definition of wild is still mild only anyways.)
gonna enjoy my singlehood before the next potential boyfriend comes along and break my heart again. relationship to me now = whatever. i'm happier alone. it doesn't last anyway. and causes more tears than anything else... am too afraid to embrace anything close to love again. it's just, not wanting to put myself in all that kinda vulnerable shits again.
went to this costume shop with yiyong and 2 of his guy friends today (seriously i thought all his friends were female so i tagged along. lol) and there was this really cute little girl! she looks about age 2-3? and she kept staring at me straight in my eyes, and then grinned at me flirtatiously! LOL. so cutee! her little brother was crawling around the mat in the room as well..and he was so pinchable too! damn. babies are so cute. however, i don't think i wanna have my own for a very long time anyways, not in the next 5 years at least. :| seeing and playing with others' babies good enough. hahaha
time for bed!
gonna dress up as a witch and head down to butterfac with poly mates. been so long since i last hung out with them. whee! (:
i'm still the good girl anyways, its just that... after getting hurt over and over again, and being thrown away and feeling unwanted and useless over and over again, it's about time i take some time out and go wild once in awhile! (those who know me know my definition of wild is still mild only anyways.)
gonna enjoy my singlehood before the next potential boyfriend comes along and break my heart again. relationship to me now = whatever. i'm happier alone. it doesn't last anyway. and causes more tears than anything else... am too afraid to embrace anything close to love again. it's just, not wanting to put myself in all that kinda vulnerable shits again.
went to this costume shop with yiyong and 2 of his guy friends today (seriously i thought all his friends were female so i tagged along. lol) and there was this really cute little girl! she looks about age 2-3? and she kept staring at me straight in my eyes, and then grinned at me flirtatiously! LOL. so cutee! her little brother was crawling around the mat in the room as well..and he was so pinchable too! damn. babies are so cute. however, i don't think i wanna have my own for a very long time anyways, not in the next 5 years at least. :| seeing and playing with others' babies good enough. hahaha
time for bed!
spin me silly, 3:33 AM.
