Sunday, November 27, 2011
thank you dear friends. i had lots of fun last night. (;
and i got to know new people too.
kenneth and lydia are like the idea couple to show me what love is actually about...
and i really envy them. and thankful as well, for they made me believe that such love still exists out there...even though i've encountered one setback after another...and currently am still trying to get out of one in which i've been totally messed and played with, and trampled on like dirt...i'm so scared honestly, so scared because as my relationships progress, they seem to treat me worse, guy after guy. it took me so long to trust a person again, but yet he ended up hurting me alot more than how the previous 2 have. okay enough said.
i should stop dating people until i learn how to love myself more than i love others. i need to stop losing my own personality and my own life everytime i fall in love with someone. in other words? i need a backbone. a strong one. no one will like a girl who constantly becomes boring whenever she gets into a relationship. no one likes a clingy girl with little or no opinion at all.
this is all so tiring.
the attempt to move on, to dare to try and trust a person again is so... lets just say i seriously have no energy for these kinda things for now.
whatever will be, will be.
shall study and do more sports in the meanwhile. golf, tennis and swimming are definitely on my list other than bowling!
dont feel like blogging anymore for today le. feeling quite sian tbh.
yay. 9 pin tap tomorrow! (;
and i got to know new people too.
kenneth and lydia are like the idea couple to show me what love is actually about...
and i really envy them. and thankful as well, for they made me believe that such love still exists out there...even though i've encountered one setback after another...and currently am still trying to get out of one in which i've been totally messed and played with, and trampled on like dirt...i'm so scared honestly, so scared because as my relationships progress, they seem to treat me worse, guy after guy. it took me so long to trust a person again, but yet he ended up hurting me alot more than how the previous 2 have. okay enough said.
i should stop dating people until i learn how to love myself more than i love others. i need to stop losing my own personality and my own life everytime i fall in love with someone. in other words? i need a backbone. a strong one. no one will like a girl who constantly becomes boring whenever she gets into a relationship. no one likes a clingy girl with little or no opinion at all.
this is all so tiring.
the attempt to move on, to dare to try and trust a person again is so... lets just say i seriously have no energy for these kinda things for now.
whatever will be, will be.
shall study and do more sports in the meanwhile. golf, tennis and swimming are definitely on my list other than bowling!
dont feel like blogging anymore for today le. feeling quite sian tbh.
yay. 9 pin tap tomorrow! (;
spin me silly, 2:36 AM.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
lol. okay. so i havent thrown the bouquet away. wah laooo. i feel wasted more than anything. if i could pluck out the pink teddies and give it to little girls and make their day from it, it's better than throwing it away right? :( shall find a way to make it useful. (:
today's the birthday of someone i used to have a thing for this time last year. cause we had a hell lot in common. lol. although i eventually decided against being anything more than good friends, i'm glad we still talk sometimes..just not like before. well, as the saying goes, "love comes and go, only friendship stays." and i'm glad we didn't turn out like my recent relationship. my ex and i? we're barely even friends now. lol.
just hope for the best for mr. someone out there. hopefully he'll get the bestest birthday of his life just yet! a surprise at his workplace or something. without any ugly nutella monkey cheesecake from a horrible lady baker (who was desperate enough to use the nutella to cover the unevenness and cracks on the cheesecake :X), unlike last year. LOL. (:
and this is why i'm so skeptical of baking another cheesecake for my godbrother. if he sees a big patch of nutella on it, he'd probably understand why already. hahaha. Tsk :(
still debating whether or not to give up the group of friends i got to know while we were together.. whether to go for the group gatherings etc. sighs. because i dont know what kinda emotions will be triggered if i see him for the first time since the breakup. and i'm kinda scared. but come on, i'll have to face him someday too right? why not now?! the earlier i face it, the better anyways. i. really. really. wanna. move. on. for. good. and i'm already trying my very best.
i'm happy that i can actually make myself happy again! i think i finally understand what it means by "take your happiness into your own hands. never rely on anyone else for your happiness." thank you ex boyfriend, because i finally understand what you meant when you told me those lines on mount faber. (:
i know i'm getting over you, just by the fact that i can smile when i look back and think of it all as an experience and a learning journey. with a little more time, i'd probably be able to let go of it all. (: whee. till that day, i shall persevereeeee!
bowled with sy and daryl yesterday. found it so much more effective than going for sim trainings, like seriously.. opened hourly lanes and just tried to repeat consistent shots...was so happy yesterday. (; sighs, how to train consistent release?! i either drop ball or i'm late! tsk.
and then i woke up aching all over today. damnit. shouldnt have bowled 2 hours and 5 games while down with flu. :(
time to learn to pick up spares..cause i'm sick of bowling 130+ averages..#%^#$@#$#
today's the birthday of someone i used to have a thing for this time last year. cause we had a hell lot in common. lol. although i eventually decided against being anything more than good friends, i'm glad we still talk sometimes..just not like before. well, as the saying goes, "love comes and go, only friendship stays." and i'm glad we didn't turn out like my recent relationship. my ex and i? we're barely even friends now. lol.
just hope for the best for mr. someone out there. hopefully he'll get the bestest birthday of his life just yet! a surprise at his workplace or something. without any ugly nutella monkey cheesecake from a horrible lady baker (who was desperate enough to use the nutella to cover the unevenness and cracks on the cheesecake :X), unlike last year. LOL. (:
and this is why i'm so skeptical of baking another cheesecake for my godbrother. if he sees a big patch of nutella on it, he'd probably understand why already. hahaha. Tsk :(
still debating whether or not to give up the group of friends i got to know while we were together.. whether to go for the group gatherings etc. sighs. because i dont know what kinda emotions will be triggered if i see him for the first time since the breakup. and i'm kinda scared. but come on, i'll have to face him someday too right? why not now?! the earlier i face it, the better anyways. i. really. really. wanna. move. on. for. good. and i'm already trying my very best.
i'm happy that i can actually make myself happy again! i think i finally understand what it means by "take your happiness into your own hands. never rely on anyone else for your happiness." thank you ex boyfriend, because i finally understand what you meant when you told me those lines on mount faber. (:
i know i'm getting over you, just by the fact that i can smile when i look back and think of it all as an experience and a learning journey. with a little more time, i'd probably be able to let go of it all. (: whee. till that day, i shall persevereeeee!
bowled with sy and daryl yesterday. found it so much more effective than going for sim trainings, like seriously.. opened hourly lanes and just tried to repeat consistent shots...was so happy yesterday. (; sighs, how to train consistent release?! i either drop ball or i'm late! tsk.
and then i woke up aching all over today. damnit. shouldnt have bowled 2 hours and 5 games while down with flu. :(
time to learn to pick up spares..cause i'm sick of bowling 130+ averages..#%^#$@#$#
spin me silly, 2:19 AM.
Monday, November 21, 2011
i'm throwing away the pink teddy bouquet tomorrow. already asked my maid to dispose of it since i cant do it myself. it's sucha waste to do so on my own.
but i'm glad he bowled his first perfect game ever, and in sea games somemore. it led me to remember how we even got closer in the first place. it was one of the nights that jas and i were watching kok and tiac bowl spgg league. jas told him if he can score perfect game, he'll get a kiss from me. he bowled a 299. LoL. saw the epic sad look on his face after that. so when he sent me home. i told him "299 deserves a hug at the very least. great job and i'm proud of you!" and hugged him before i left the car. and then it all began. and now, i'll never give the kiss. LOL. its funny how many things have changed over the past 8 months...it scares me that yet another year of my life is over. :((
flu flu flu. down with flu for the 3rd-4th day and counting..feeling like crap now. urghh. but oh well, i'm going bowling later! bowl until i happy! :P but actually it's to open my thumb hole a tad more. cause it keeps swelling after i bowl 2-3 games. and then my thumb will get stuck and i become desperate for i dont have my own tools to open the hole up. tsk. my finger inserts for my bedlam needs to be changed toooo. damnit. i could barely put 1/2 my finger in after bowling 6 games the night before. -_-"
AND LOL. i finally found a clip of michelle's bowling! awesome!! its like shuai qi max. hahaha! envyyyy.. and then she directed me to youtube and i found her doha games one also. the specs with the dyed hair and the braces. EPIC win leh. lol!
time for flu panadol. already warned sy that he might trip on my mucus on the approach tomorrow and just fall. :X already told him to forgive me in advance if it happens. LOl.
but i'm glad he bowled his first perfect game ever, and in sea games somemore. it led me to remember how we even got closer in the first place. it was one of the nights that jas and i were watching kok and tiac bowl spgg league. jas told him if he can score perfect game, he'll get a kiss from me. he bowled a 299. LoL. saw the epic sad look on his face after that. so when he sent me home. i told him "299 deserves a hug at the very least. great job and i'm proud of you!" and hugged him before i left the car. and then it all began. and now, i'll never give the kiss. LOL. its funny how many things have changed over the past 8 months...it scares me that yet another year of my life is over. :((
flu flu flu. down with flu for the 3rd-4th day and counting..feeling like crap now. urghh. but oh well, i'm going bowling later! bowl until i happy! :P but actually it's to open my thumb hole a tad more. cause it keeps swelling after i bowl 2-3 games. and then my thumb will get stuck and i become desperate for i dont have my own tools to open the hole up. tsk. my finger inserts for my bedlam needs to be changed toooo. damnit. i could barely put 1/2 my finger in after bowling 6 games the night before. -_-"
AND LOL. i finally found a clip of michelle's bowling! awesome!! its like shuai qi max. hahaha! envyyyy.. and then she directed me to youtube and i found her doha games one also. the specs with the dyed hair and the braces. EPIC win leh. lol!
time for flu panadol. already warned sy that he might trip on my mucus on the approach tomorrow and just fall. :X already told him to forgive me in advance if it happens. LOl.
spin me silly, 2:04 AM.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
我的加油简讯又被 ignored 了。 算了，我也不管那么多。我为这个曾经伤了我的心的朋友加油，已经足够了。 连把他当作是朋友，已夜经是我的极限了。朋友不是这样可恶 的。
恨跟心痛夹在一块，连我也快要傻傻分不清楚自己对他是恨他比较多，还是自己痛得比较多了。
还以为，你会跟我的前男友不一样，还能做回朋友，可是，差不多没两样吗！好失望。算了。 我在这半年里，已经为了你哭了好多次，浪费了好多眼泪，也已经够了。。。我不应该再为你而哭了。 你不值得我为你这样付出啊。。。
就算这样，为你加油打气，是我对朋友们的原则。对每个重要的朋友都一样。 你不领情，也罢。 那是你的问题，不是我的。 有一天，你会后悔失去这样的朋友吧。
无论如何，加油呀黄哲彬朋友。
我不会再传加油简讯给你了。
再见咯！（虽然说得容易，做到难，但，也该是时候对自己好一点了吧。我会努力把你给忘掉，好让自己的心情，不再被你的行动以及所作所为，给控制着。思秀，别再哭了。。。别再因任何男人而流眼泪了。）
恨跟心痛夹在一块，连我也快要傻傻分不清楚自己对他是恨他比较多，还是自己痛得比较多了。
还以为，你会跟我的前男友不一样，还能做回朋友，可是，差不多没两样吗！好失望。算了。 我在这半年里，已经为了你哭了好多次，浪费了好多眼泪，也已经够了。。。我不应该再为你而哭了。 你不值得我为你这样付出啊。。。
就算这样，为你加油打气，是我对朋友们的原则。对每个重要的朋友都一样。 你不领情，也罢。 那是你的问题，不是我的。 有一天，你会后悔失去这样的朋友吧。
无论如何，加油呀黄哲彬朋友。
我不会再传加油简讯给你了。
再见咯！（虽然说得容易，做到难，但，也该是时候对自己好一点了吧。我会努力把你给忘掉，好让自己的心情，不再被你的行动以及所作所为，给控制着。思秀，别再哭了。。。别再因任何男人而流眼泪了。）
spin me silly, 2:36 AM.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
wtf is wrong with me.
#@%^%&$#%&.
fugggg. even typing the symbols above with my swollen fingers (yeah, from bowling again) hurt!!! cant even vent my pent up frustrations anywhere.
stop wallowing in self-pity melissa. you know how disgusting it is to see it from a good friend's point of view, after seeing one of your guy friend wallowing in self pity after his breakup too.
stop it already.
#@%^%&$#%&.
fugggg. even typing the symbols above with my swollen fingers (yeah, from bowling again) hurt!!! cant even vent my pent up frustrations anywhere.
stop wallowing in self-pity melissa. you know how disgusting it is to see it from a good friend's point of view, after seeing one of your guy friend wallowing in self pity after his breakup too.
stop it already.
spin me silly, 12:57 AM.
好想干干净净地把你给忘掉。 可是我每天还是听到您的消息。 还以为终于可以把你给忘了，可是，当我看到您在的地方发生地震时，不知为何又慌张与担心得不得了。
我还真失败。你已经老早把我给忘了，我却还在原地徘徊，想走也走不掉。
也不知为何，觉得这段感情会失败，都只是我本人个性无聊有无趣的原因。。。
在车上知道你有回简讯给甘哥哥，而没回应我为您加油的简讯时，我的心，其实碎了。
却为自己的自尊，勉强以及故意装作什么事都没有。（总不能你一个人开开心心的过生活，而只有我还在伤心吧。伤心还好，想哭又是另一回事啊。）
用笑容，假装，伪装，自己真正的感觉，是目前最容易的办法了。因为我不想让人觉得我很懦弱。。。不想让人看到我有多笨。伤了我的人，过得那么好，而只有我，还没有办法忘记一切。
可见我的伪装还算成功。 因为连甘哥哥都以为我已经把你从我心里头给删掉了。
这感觉，好烂。真的，真的好烂。
为什么要骗我呢。我本来一个人过得好好的，每天开开心心的。为什么要让我爱上你，放弃我原本想做一辈子单身的决定，而又在我选择再次慢慢相信爱的时候，狠心地拍拍屁股，走人了呢？
还说做朋友，但其实对我的态度，连朋友都不是！
这感觉，好烂。真的，真的好烂。
都差不多一个月半了。为什么还会一样的痛呀？
有时候甘哥哥对我好，我总觉得他是因为想为自己得好朋友赎罪什么的，而对我特别的照顾。好像反而是我从他好朋友的负担，变成了他的负担呀。。。
眼睛啊，求你们不要动不动就一直流眼泪了，求求你们！
心啊，这世界还有很多值得让你去爱的人，所以，请你不要一直只爱他一个人下去了，好吗？？
加油思秀。 加油呀。不要，不要再为他而难过了。。。
“就别再为他流泪了，别让他再操控你的伤悲。
就算有一点愚味一点点后悔，也不要太狼狈。
他不值得你的泪，把那遗憾留在大雨的街。
你会在迷失的旅途中盲目追，以后为自己醉。”
我还真失败。你已经老早把我给忘了，我却还在原地徘徊，想走也走不掉。
也不知为何，觉得这段感情会失败，都只是我本人个性无聊有无趣的原因。。。
在车上知道你有回简讯给甘哥哥，而没回应我为您加油的简讯时，我的心，其实碎了。
却为自己的自尊，勉强以及故意装作什么事都没有。（总不能你一个人开开心心的过生活，而只有我还在伤心吧。伤心还好，想哭又是另一回事啊。）
用笑容，假装，伪装，自己真正的感觉，是目前最容易的办法了。因为我不想让人觉得我很懦弱。。。不想让人看到我有多笨。伤了我的人，过得那么好，而只有我，还没有办法忘记一切。
可见我的伪装还算成功。 因为连甘哥哥都以为我已经把你从我心里头给删掉了。
这感觉，好烂。真的，真的好烂。
为什么要骗我呢。我本来一个人过得好好的，每天开开心心的。为什么要让我爱上你，放弃我原本想做一辈子单身的决定，而又在我选择再次慢慢相信爱的时候，狠心地拍拍屁股，走人了呢？
还说做朋友，但其实对我的态度，连朋友都不是！
这感觉，好烂。真的，真的好烂。
都差不多一个月半了。为什么还会一样的痛呀？
有时候甘哥哥对我好，我总觉得他是因为想为自己得好朋友赎罪什么的，而对我特别的照顾。好像反而是我从他好朋友的负担，变成了他的负担呀。。。
眼睛啊，求你们不要动不动就一直流眼泪了，求求你们！
心啊，这世界还有很多值得让你去爱的人，所以，请你不要一直只爱他一个人下去了，好吗？？
加油思秀。 加油呀。不要，不要再为他而难过了。。。
“就别再为他流泪了，别让他再操控你的伤悲。
就算有一点愚味一点点后悔，也不要太狼狈。
他不值得你的泪，把那遗憾留在大雨的街。
你会在迷失的旅途中盲目追，以后为自己醉。”
spin me silly, 12:26 AM.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
加油了，我曾经的好朋友。
spin me silly, 4:02 AM.
Friday, November 11, 2011
all the best to you.
i'll be here wishing you luck.
jiayou ng tiac pin.
and the day finally arrives, the day im not gonna be able to realize my short term goal the past 6-7months. the goal of being confident enough to drive my car and send my darling off to the airport for his sea games. LOL. how stupid eh? firstly, he's no longer my darling. secondly, there'll be other people to send him...
with this goal unrealized today, hopefully i'll be able to slowly put him somewhere in the deepest corners of my heart, and move on...
sighs.
being with him for the 6 months has made me a very greedy person indeed. instead of being contented with who i am and what i am...i actually disliked myself, looked down on myself, asked myself why weren't i in the nat squad too, that if i'm in the nat squad too, maybe i'll be able to clique more with him, maybe we'll be happier, maybe we'd have more common goals together, maybe we can even travel together for opens.
dumb unrealistic dreams they were, come to think of it.
mel, wish him luck, as a friend. nothing more, try to reduce all the hard feelings and hatred, and the feelings you still have for him...put it all away..
found an easier recipe for oreo cheesecake! dont care already, this one better suffice for kor! :X i still owe him his cheesecake. lol
i'll be here wishing you luck.
jiayou ng tiac pin.
and the day finally arrives, the day im not gonna be able to realize my short term goal the past 6-7months. the goal of being confident enough to drive my car and send my darling off to the airport for his sea games. LOL. how stupid eh? firstly, he's no longer my darling. secondly, there'll be other people to send him...
with this goal unrealized today, hopefully i'll be able to slowly put him somewhere in the deepest corners of my heart, and move on...
sighs.
being with him for the 6 months has made me a very greedy person indeed. instead of being contented with who i am and what i am...i actually disliked myself, looked down on myself, asked myself why weren't i in the nat squad too, that if i'm in the nat squad too, maybe i'll be able to clique more with him, maybe we'll be happier, maybe we'd have more common goals together, maybe we can even travel together for opens.
dumb unrealistic dreams they were, come to think of it.
mel, wish him luck, as a friend. nothing more, try to reduce all the hard feelings and hatred, and the feelings you still have for him...put it all away..
found an easier recipe for oreo cheesecake! dont care already, this one better suffice for kor! :X i still owe him his cheesecake. lol
spin me silly, 3:32 AM.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
i had a nightmare. i went back to my old house, and a ghost haunted me.
so i went to google what does dreaming of ghosts meant:
"In general, ghosts symbolizes aspects of yourself that you fear. This may involve a painful memory, guilt, or some repressed thoughts. You may be afraid of death and dying. Alternatively, ghosts are representative of something that is no longer obtainable or within reach. it indicates a feeling of disconnection from life and society. This dream maybe a calling for you to move on and abandon your outdated modes of thinking and behavior. Your dream is telling you there is an issue/situation you are avoiding.
The letter G in a dream represents termination. An awareness that something is going away or can't repeat itself. The symbol is based on the letter looking like a circle that never completes and terminates to the centre."
even my dreams are telling me that i've been avoiding...to move on..and that whatever it is, it's gone.
that's probably the one thing i havent been able to do or come to terms with.
so i went to google what does dreaming of ghosts meant:
"In general, ghosts symbolizes aspects of yourself that you fear. This may involve a painful memory, guilt, or some repressed thoughts. You may be afraid of death and dying. Alternatively, ghosts are representative of something that is no longer obtainable or within reach. it indicates a feeling of disconnection from life and society. This dream maybe a calling for you to move on and abandon your outdated modes of thinking and behavior. Your dream is telling you there is an issue/situation you are avoiding.
The letter G in a dream represents termination. An awareness that something is going away or can't repeat itself. The symbol is based on the letter looking like a circle that never completes and terminates to the centre."
even my dreams are telling me that i've been avoiding...to move on..and that whatever it is, it's gone.
that's probably the one thing i havent been able to do or come to terms with.
spin me silly, 12:40 PM.
so tired. so empty. somehow, now that sea games is nearing, all i think about is
"is the stress building up for him?"
"Is he all prepared?"
"Does he have anyone by his side helping him out so he doesnt fall sick?"
"Should i text him to just show my support?"
i know its so wrong. it obviously goes to show i have gotten over the relationship. cause i still care for him, and i know its more than just care...
apparently 5 weeks isn't enough for me to get over him, even if i'm moving on with my daily life..
tired.
tired.
tired.
:'(
bowled like fuck today. really like fuck. i cant even hit consistent pockets and i dont know how to improve already.
"is the stress building up for him?"
"Is he all prepared?"
"Does he have anyone by his side helping him out so he doesnt fall sick?"
"Should i text him to just show my support?"
i know its so wrong. it obviously goes to show i have gotten over the relationship. cause i still care for him, and i know its more than just care...
apparently 5 weeks isn't enough for me to get over him, even if i'm moving on with my daily life..
tired.
tired.
tired.
:'(
bowled like fuck today. really like fuck. i cant even hit consistent pockets and i dont know how to improve already.
spin me silly, 3:24 AM.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
pms week again. i feel really really emo. i dont know what to do. i've lost count of how many days we've broken up. but i know i havent been able to make you walk outta my heart. its still filled with you... fml.. really. fml... hate pms.
and now my tears are free falling again. :'(
when... just when will i ever be able to let you go.
i thought i was doing fine. until pms hit me... the thoughts i've been trying to hide, the feelings i've been bottling inside. suddenly becomes 2x as overwhelming.
someone, anyone, just save me please.
and now my tears are free falling again. :'(
when... just when will i ever be able to let you go.
i thought i was doing fine. until pms hit me... the thoughts i've been trying to hide, the feelings i've been bottling inside. suddenly becomes 2x as overwhelming.
someone, anyone, just save me please.
spin me silly, 2:01 AM.
Friday, November 4, 2011
the saddest part of today?
uncle jason telling me "you've bowled one year for nothing."
uncle jason telling me "you've bowled one year for nothing."
spin me silly, 3:33 AM.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
spin me silly, 3:34 AM.
everytime i scroll to your facebook profile, it still stings...
when will i ever be fine again? somehow the stinging just serves to remind me how much you meant to me and how much i've loved you in the past year.
but life has to go on.
so tired...
when will i ever be fine again? somehow the stinging just serves to remind me how much you meant to me and how much i've loved you in the past year.
but life has to go on.
so tired...
spin me silly, 2:58 AM.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
"Letting go of the past is not easy, especially if you have wounds that have never properly healed. But, the past is past and living there may be preventing you from fully experiencing the present. Likewise fear of what may be looming around the corner can also prevent you from fully enjoying the present. Live in the moment and look forward to whatever lies ahead..."
spin me silly, 10:56 PM.
another sleepless night. :(
sighs.
dad sent me to chevs for training today. and he commented "i like my melissa more now. don't you feel like you've been yourself again the past one month? back to the chatty melissa. not the one who sits in one corner of the table during meals, not the one who is so quiet and refuses to open her mouth to speak... isn't it so much better, this melissa now? isn't life less stressful and more carefree for you this way?"
i declined to answer.... life has its pros and cons now..no idea whether it's more pros than cons actually. sighs.
and dad counted? it's really been one month as of today. or rather 28 days. 4 tuesdays ago we broke up. life seems so different now, even though i still think of him. we both are leading our own lives now. and it will continue to be so.
had supper with sy today. left my bowling balls with him. i better rmb mans! and seriously, my bedlam costs $290?! wth?! :( sighs...
SIGHS.
its 4.11am...and i'm wide awake. :( my show wont load quickly, and i gotta wake up by 10am. urgh. i'm screwed.
kor's having his papers today. GOODLUCK HIGHSCORE KOR! (:
sighs.
dad sent me to chevs for training today. and he commented "i like my melissa more now. don't you feel like you've been yourself again the past one month? back to the chatty melissa. not the one who sits in one corner of the table during meals, not the one who is so quiet and refuses to open her mouth to speak... isn't it so much better, this melissa now? isn't life less stressful and more carefree for you this way?"
i declined to answer.... life has its pros and cons now..no idea whether it's more pros than cons actually. sighs.
and dad counted? it's really been one month as of today. or rather 28 days. 4 tuesdays ago we broke up. life seems so different now, even though i still think of him. we both are leading our own lives now. and it will continue to be so.
had supper with sy today. left my bowling balls with him. i better rmb mans! and seriously, my bedlam costs $290?! wth?! :( sighs...
SIGHS.
its 4.11am...and i'm wide awake. :( my show wont load quickly, and i gotta wake up by 10am. urgh. i'm screwed.
kor's having his papers today. GOODLUCK HIGHSCORE KOR! (:
spin me silly, 4:13 AM.
