Monday, May 14, 2012
donkey donkey ages since i last blogged i think. cant even remember when's the last time i actually did something that i personally enjoy.
study study study study study for exams until now i'm all stressed out and sick. first, a fever of 38 degrees for 3 days, and today it's finally somewhat back to 37-37ish. plus menses (that means cramps), plus sore throat (I HAVE NO VOICE. croaked. all i could do when leon said hi to me today was point at my throat and signal a no voice sign), plus bad cough and flu. really all at one go...
plus it's not like whatever i studied came out. on the contrary, it's the opposite. so sometimes i ask myself, why study so hard if it's not gonna reap the same benefits?! sighs. today's paper was bad too. i expected more of myself. what the heck was i doing?!
so tired. so so tired. it's like a burnout already.
okay, off to start study for friday's paper.
doomed. totally doomed... so much to cover. i studied these back in march but i cant remember them now. this is like epic bad. :(
really bad...
study study study study study for exams until now i'm all stressed out and sick. first, a fever of 38 degrees for 3 days, and today it's finally somewhat back to 37-37ish. plus menses (that means cramps), plus sore throat (I HAVE NO VOICE. croaked. all i could do when leon said hi to me today was point at my throat and signal a no voice sign), plus bad cough and flu. really all at one go...
plus it's not like whatever i studied came out. on the contrary, it's the opposite. so sometimes i ask myself, why study so hard if it's not gonna reap the same benefits?! sighs. today's paper was bad too. i expected more of myself. what the heck was i doing?!
so tired. so so tired. it's like a burnout already.
okay, off to start study for friday's paper.
doomed. totally doomed... so much to cover. i studied these back in march but i cant remember them now. this is like epic bad. :(
really bad...
spin me silly, 10:50 PM.
Friday, May 4, 2012
i wish i had the courage to tour korea for a month on my own.
i'm seriously so envious of really independent girls like victoria and mich...who aren't afraid of jetsetting/backpacking on their own.
super regret not signing up for korea university's summer exchange program, now i wont ever get a chance again.. :'(
must we really be dependent on other in our lives? what happens if we can't find a suitable other that we wanna be dependent on? someone with similar interests, similar wants in life... is it that hard? is communication all that matters in the long run? what about love? is it not important as age adds on?
sighs.
i'm seriously so envious of really independent girls like victoria and mich...who aren't afraid of jetsetting/backpacking on their own.
super regret not signing up for korea university's summer exchange program, now i wont ever get a chance again.. :'(
must we really be dependent on other in our lives? what happens if we can't find a suitable other that we wanna be dependent on? someone with similar interests, similar wants in life... is it that hard? is communication all that matters in the long run? what about love? is it not important as age adds on?
sighs.
spin me silly, 2:25 AM.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
why must you call me? ='(
mr ng uh mr ng... you need to call me to tell me guoyuan is drunk meh?
sighs. you know the different mixed feelings in me when i picked up that call?
it's been 7 months leh since you last called leh, must torture me like that or not?
to even evoke what little feelings i have from last time.
fug. i should just stay single for good. whats the point of being status-ly available but emotionally unstable/unavailable?!
yes i like guoyuan.
but i haven't or might never like him as much as i loved you. that point i'm pretty sure for now.
which is why i rejected guoyuan...
but we're still in some grey area zone.
i think guoyuan's gonna give up soon anyways. and just enjoy each other's company.
don't know when i'll be 100% emotionally available again...
okay sleep. i'm just thinking too much.
SLEEP.
mr ng uh mr ng... you need to call me to tell me guoyuan is drunk meh?
sighs. you know the different mixed feelings in me when i picked up that call?
it's been 7 months leh since you last called leh, must torture me like that or not?
to even evoke what little feelings i have from last time.
fug. i should just stay single for good. whats the point of being status-ly available but emotionally unstable/unavailable?!
yes i like guoyuan.
but i haven't or might never like him as much as i loved you. that point i'm pretty sure for now.
which is why i rejected guoyuan...
but we're still in some grey area zone.
i think guoyuan's gonna give up soon anyways. and just enjoy each other's company.
don't know when i'll be 100% emotionally available again...
okay sleep. i'm just thinking too much.
SLEEP.
spin me silly, 3:06 AM.
